Arguing with the person you love is frustrating. Marriage is a collaborative partnership. It requires a lot of compromise on both sides. You’re faced with big decisions as you navigate life together. Naturally, arguments arise. But when things get heated and you’re both upset, what do you do?

If you find yourself in a big verbal altercation that you feel is getting out of hand, use these tips to defuse the situation:

  1. Speak softly.

Speaking in a quiet voice forces your partner to lower their voice as well. This brings the tone of the conversation down a level, which is helpful for facilitating a discussion. 

Sometimes your partner may be so angry that they still shout even when you’re whispering. This shows that they aren’t listening to what you’re saying. In these cases, still avoid escalating the situation by joining them in yelling. In this case, speak in a regular-volume with a steady tone when you need to assert yourself.

  1. Keep the conversation on track.

When emotions are running high, it may be tempting to stray from the subject at hand. Your mind may wander to other things that are bothering you that they’ve done wrong, past mistakes they’ve made, the dirty plate sitting in the sink they still haven’t rinsed. Now is not the time. Stay on track so your disagreement doesn’t snowball. 

  1. Never resort to violence.

Bringing a physical element to your argument will never make anything better. Regardless of the size of your disagreement, it is essential to still treat one another with respect. Resorting to violence can result in criminal charges such as assault and battery. Instances of domestic violence can also result in the loss of rights including the right to own a firearm and the right to have a driver’s license.

  1. Know when to walk away.

Sometimes, unfortunately, arguments between spouses become so escalated that nothing productive can come of them. If you and your partner are not communicating productively, it may be time to take a break from the conversation and return to it when you can both be more calm. 

When large arguments occur often, communication is unsuccessful, and you start to wonder if you’ve tried everything, it’s also possible that it is time to walk away from the entire relationship. If you are no longer happy in your marriage, the team at the FAB Law Firm can help. To learn more about the divorce process, give us a call at (888) 262-1618.