From the moment that you know divorce is the inevitable outcome of your marriage, you're bound to be consumed by stress—stress over how your life will change, stress over whether or not you'll get a fair shake in court, and stress over how this whole process may affect your children. Stress has a significant impact on your physical health in addition to the obvious negative effects on your mental health. Take care of yourself throughout this process with these tips.
1. Don't Minimize or Ignore Your FeelingsMany people try to bury their negative emotions, either by replacing them with positive ones or by ignoring them completely. Of course there's room for positive thinking and optimism in the divorce process, but you're not doing yourself any favors by pretending that you're not devastated by this outcome. Similarly, don't minimize your feelings; some people try to downplay the importance of their emotions with statements like “We weren't even married that long, I shouldn't be this upset” or “My ex was dating again after six months, I can't believe I'm still this heartbroken.” Give yourself space to feel these emotions, perhaps with the support of a therapist.
2. Turn to Loved OnesYou don't have to carry the weight of divorce on your own—in fact, you shouldn't even try. On a list of major stressors, divorce ranks up there with the death of a loved one. Your friends and family may not know what to say or if they should even broach this sensitive topic with you, so you might have to take the first step. Turn to those you trust and tell them that you need support. Maybe you need someone to check in on you and make sure you're eating each day or hold you accountable for staying off your ex-partner's social media. Perhaps you just need a listening ear. Whatever you need, don't be afraid to ask for it.
3. Limit Contact With Your Ex-Partner by Using a LawyerDown the road, you will need to develop healthy communication skills with your ex-partner, especially if you have children. In the early days of the process, though, it may be too much for you. Tensions are likely to remain high for months after you begin the divorce process, and you may be unable to talk to each other for more than a few minutes without resorting to passive-passive-aggressive digs or personal attacks. When it comes to matters related to the divorce, consider having all communication go through both partners' attorneys. This can limit your direct exposure to your ex-spouse when you need time to heal.
4. Take Care of Your Physical HealthPhysical health often falls by the wayside during divorce. Many people lose their appetite completely, while others try to calm their frayed nerves with too much food. You may be so exhausted from the trauma that you can't even imagine exercising. While it will be challenging, try to nourish your body with some gentle exercise and good meals.
5. Set Aside Time for Your Mental and Emotional HealthTry to avoid the idea that you need to come through divorce without any emotional or mental wounds. For many, divorce is the most difficult thing they face in their entire lives. You may want to meet with a counselor who specializes in divorce and life changes, set aside time for self-care, and pay extra attention to any unexpected emotions popping up.
Getting the legal support you deserve is key to managing your stress levels. If you're looking for a lawyer dedicated to aggressively defending your rights, contact The Fab Law Firm, LLC. Call us at 800-322-9467 to schedule your initial consultation.